Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
