I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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