Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
