Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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