so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
