i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
