Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
