I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
