yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
