And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
