I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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