Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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