Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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