Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize