You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't deserve a penis
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
