I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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