I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
