I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
