so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
