my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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