just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
