Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
