He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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