Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have fence marks all over my body
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
