so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
