The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
