everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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