my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
