I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
