im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i drank out of a bidet.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
