your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
