I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
