My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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