Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
