mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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