I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
