woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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