I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
