Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
