i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
