You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
