I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
