your thong is hanging out like whoa
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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