youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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