after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
