So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
