im drinking this country out of the recession.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
