4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
