I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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