You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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