In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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