Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
