Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
