I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
