The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my poor anus
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
