nut hugger
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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