Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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