i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize