i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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