my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I need water and some morals
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
